I spent a good part of yesterday packing for my trip. I've still got a little to do, but I'm not bringing much this time.
The real pain in the butt is paperwork/files that come back and forth with me because I never know what I might need at some later date. It seems that I'm forever on phones with insurance companies or doctors or whoever, trying to straighten up bills that aren't figured correctly or that have been paid or need to be re-billed, or whatever. I keep all my records as a reference. Also, I think I must have a 'file monkey' on my back or something.
Today, I get to have my hair done one last time by my favorite stylist before I leave. I've been going shorter and shorter the last few cuts and I've been working on blonde, but I think I'm going darker brown again today. We'll see. Maybe I can snap a photo and post it for you after I decide.
This evening, I am taking my two parakeets to a good friend's house to be cared for by her for the next four months. This is surprisingly difficult for me. I say 'surprisingly' because it has been a major pain in the neck traveling back and forth with these guys in their cage, and there is not enough space in the trailer for them. Yet, you know me and my darn animal attachment issues. I've had one of them for about 7 years and the other for four. I am the only one in the house that likes them (besides, of course, the cat). Everyone gets annoyed with their noise. I keep them in my office and they are a constant chatter for me, but I'm able to tune it out.
So, I'm really going to miss them. I think saying goodbye to them is just another "goodbye" surrounded by about a billion goodbyes over the past 2 years. You would think I'd be getting better at this.
Tom has changed his flight plans and will be coming home tomorrow instead of Monday and I am just so excited to see him! We are still not going to head out until Tuesday because we have made hotel reservations along the way, but we will get a chance to relax a little here before we leave.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
The Journey
Since I returned to Kansas last year, I've been posting so little, but that's not because life stopped moving along. Life keeps going, but sometimes, I get a little stuck in a rut.
That's kind of where I've been.
I've been struggling a bit with depression over the past year and the best that I can figure is that it has to do with the many transitions taking place in my life and my reluctance, perhaps, to just go with the flow.
Some days, it's been just difficult to get out of bed. It's really a sucky place to be.
I think I'm beginning to make the adjustments necessary to enjoy my life as it is. I think also, that being separate from my husband gave me kind of an "incomplete" feeling. Maybe some of you can understand that. I know that I am still an individual, but let's face it, he's my partner in life and life isn't the same without him. That's just a fact for me.
With Sam growing up, having a baby and moving away, the "emptying of the nest" has begun and that has probably been one of the most difficult of transitions that I have ever experienced.
I think that I just always "felt" like she would be with us forever. As a mom, my life has been so involved with her, that there is a huge hole now that she is on her own. She seems to be doing well and making the changes in her own life that are necessary to be happy and whole as an adult. I was able to visit her and Noah one last time this past Monday. I won't see them again until November and that's a bit overwhelming but I find that I just pray for their safety and happiness daily and trust that all will be well with them. What else can I do, right? I do wish someone would/could have prepared me for how difficult it is when grown children move away for the first time. I guess it's just one more of those bridges that we have to cross when we come to it.
Tom is flying here on Monday, and on Tuesday we will set out for Florida where we plan on staying until November. Then Moll and I will come back to Kansas during the holiday season and then back to Florida for the beautiful winter months.
We've been planning a bit of a "vacation" for our trip down south, and will be taking four days and stopping in Memphis, New Orleans, and finally a night in Panama City, Florida, before arriving in Fort Lauderdale on the the 3rd of July.
I am excited to see New Orleans, as I have never been there. And, we are hoping to hook up with some friends that we haven't seen in three years when we stay in Panama City.
I'll try to post more frequently about this life journey. The one thing that I am feeling lately is that life just passes so quickly. It seems that it was just yesterday that Tom and I were newlyweds.
It's nice to record things as they happen. It's nice to remember details along the way.
That's kind of where I've been.
I've been struggling a bit with depression over the past year and the best that I can figure is that it has to do with the many transitions taking place in my life and my reluctance, perhaps, to just go with the flow.
Some days, it's been just difficult to get out of bed. It's really a sucky place to be.
I think I'm beginning to make the adjustments necessary to enjoy my life as it is. I think also, that being separate from my husband gave me kind of an "incomplete" feeling. Maybe some of you can understand that. I know that I am still an individual, but let's face it, he's my partner in life and life isn't the same without him. That's just a fact for me.
With Sam growing up, having a baby and moving away, the "emptying of the nest" has begun and that has probably been one of the most difficult of transitions that I have ever experienced.
I think that I just always "felt" like she would be with us forever. As a mom, my life has been so involved with her, that there is a huge hole now that she is on her own. She seems to be doing well and making the changes in her own life that are necessary to be happy and whole as an adult. I was able to visit her and Noah one last time this past Monday. I won't see them again until November and that's a bit overwhelming but I find that I just pray for their safety and happiness daily and trust that all will be well with them. What else can I do, right? I do wish someone would/could have prepared me for how difficult it is when grown children move away for the first time. I guess it's just one more of those bridges that we have to cross when we come to it.
Tom is flying here on Monday, and on Tuesday we will set out for Florida where we plan on staying until November. Then Moll and I will come back to Kansas during the holiday season and then back to Florida for the beautiful winter months.
We've been planning a bit of a "vacation" for our trip down south, and will be taking four days and stopping in Memphis, New Orleans, and finally a night in Panama City, Florida, before arriving in Fort Lauderdale on the the 3rd of July.
I am excited to see New Orleans, as I have never been there. And, we are hoping to hook up with some friends that we haven't seen in three years when we stay in Panama City.
I'll try to post more frequently about this life journey. The one thing that I am feeling lately is that life just passes so quickly. It seems that it was just yesterday that Tom and I were newlyweds.
It's nice to record things as they happen. It's nice to remember details along the way.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Colorado Trip
Things have finally slowed down a little around here. Actually, they've slowed w-a-a-a-y down! Sam is finally getting settled into her new home, so there's less to worry about with regard to that.
Moll and I (and Moll's friend and Noah) took a trip to Colorado to see my mom last week. We had such a nice time, but for me, caring for a newborn full time was a bit tiring. Sam met us there mid week and took Noah home, so things got easier. My mom was glad to finally get to see the baby, but I could tell that she just wasn't used to baby crying like she used to be. I guess we're all getting a little older.
We wanted to go to the Denver Mint, but I lacked enough foresight to realize that you must make tour reservations months in advance. So we didn't get to go. I'll have to remember that for November when we head back for Thanksgiving. We did get to spend a day in Fort Collins, and we did get to spend a beautiful day in Estes Park. I also got to spend some time with most of my siblings, which doesn't happen all that often.
11,700 Feet.
We visited the Stanley Hotel (setting for Stephen King's novel, "The Shining"). Now I'm looking forward to reading the book. I must be the only person alive that hasn't read it!
This week, moll and I painted her bedroom. Actually, she painted most of it, and she did a fantastic job! It's very PINK but it beats the heck out of the dirty brown color that covers every other square inch of our house! Now I know she is capable of painting the rest of the house for me! ha! (she has said "No way!" to that idea, but I'll work on her!)
We are planning on making the trip back to Florida in a few weeks. We are just waiting to close on the refinance we are doing on our home here. That should take place at the end of June. I am happy with our decision to keep the house here for now. I know for me, it gives me a certain sense of stability and I need that. I'm sure that when the right "something new" comes along, I'll know that it's time to let go, but for now this feels the most "right".
In the meantime, I am planning one more trip to see Sam and the baby, and attempting to clear through some remaining clutter around here before I leave. I'm trying to simplify things enough and really work out a system that makes the traveling back and forth between homes a little easier. My dream is to get all my paperwork scanned into my computer so I don't have to tote files with me when I travel. But, that's a pretty big dream so I'm not sure it will happen any time soon. And my next big dream is to double up on some of the appliances, etc that I use often so that I can just have one set in Florida and one set here. That would sure make life easier. There's lots to do, but lots of time to get it done, too.
Moll and I (and Moll's friend and Noah) took a trip to Colorado to see my mom last week. We had such a nice time, but for me, caring for a newborn full time was a bit tiring. Sam met us there mid week and took Noah home, so things got easier. My mom was glad to finally get to see the baby, but I could tell that she just wasn't used to baby crying like she used to be. I guess we're all getting a little older.
We wanted to go to the Denver Mint, but I lacked enough foresight to realize that you must make tour reservations months in advance. So we didn't get to go. I'll have to remember that for November when we head back for Thanksgiving. We did get to spend a day in Fort Collins, and we did get to spend a beautiful day in Estes Park. I also got to spend some time with most of my siblings, which doesn't happen all that often.
11,700 Feet.
We visited the Stanley Hotel (setting for Stephen King's novel, "The Shining"). Now I'm looking forward to reading the book. I must be the only person alive that hasn't read it!
This week, moll and I painted her bedroom. Actually, she painted most of it, and she did a fantastic job! It's very PINK but it beats the heck out of the dirty brown color that covers every other square inch of our house! Now I know she is capable of painting the rest of the house for me! ha! (she has said "No way!" to that idea, but I'll work on her!)
We are planning on making the trip back to Florida in a few weeks. We are just waiting to close on the refinance we are doing on our home here. That should take place at the end of June. I am happy with our decision to keep the house here for now. I know for me, it gives me a certain sense of stability and I need that. I'm sure that when the right "something new" comes along, I'll know that it's time to let go, but for now this feels the most "right".
In the meantime, I am planning one more trip to see Sam and the baby, and attempting to clear through some remaining clutter around here before I leave. I'm trying to simplify things enough and really work out a system that makes the traveling back and forth between homes a little easier. My dream is to get all my paperwork scanned into my computer so I don't have to tote files with me when I travel. But, that's a pretty big dream so I'm not sure it will happen any time soon. And my next big dream is to double up on some of the appliances, etc that I use often so that I can just have one set in Florida and one set here. That would sure make life easier. There's lots to do, but lots of time to get it done, too.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Changes
Friday, May 22nd, 11 pm-ish. This was a tough day. Sam was supposed to be married tomorrow. On Wednesday, she and her fiance decided to call off the wedding. I am relieved. They are so young. They have plenty of time to figure all things out.
But, they decided to move out still and they left today. They are only a few hours from here, but that doesn't make it easier. I miss them. I keep thinking they are just downstairs, but her room is pretty empty now.
I keep telling myself, "If you love someone, you must let them go...."
I know Sam has to spread her wings sometime, but I wasn't ready.
There are so few things I really care about in my life, and two of them moved out today. I could never have imagined how sad I would be with my new grandson gone.
I am glad that Mollie is still around. This morning, she crawled into my side of the bed after I got up. I went back in and laid down next to her and put my arms around her. I still need a little person to hug.
But, they decided to move out still and they left today. They are only a few hours from here, but that doesn't make it easier. I miss them. I keep thinking they are just downstairs, but her room is pretty empty now.
I keep telling myself, "If you love someone, you must let them go...."
I know Sam has to spread her wings sometime, but I wasn't ready.
There are so few things I really care about in my life, and two of them moved out today. I could never have imagined how sad I would be with my new grandson gone.
I am glad that Mollie is still around. This morning, she crawled into my side of the bed after I got up. I went back in and laid down next to her and put my arms around her. I still need a little person to hug.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Still Here
I thought I'd take just a minute this morning to give an update on things around here.
The baby is growing so fast. He is already 6 weeks old!
I have been busy helping with him and putting things together for Sam's wedding this coming weekend.
The wedding will be small and informal, but there are still quite a few details to take care of.
Sam turned 18 last week. Now that, my friends, is a weird feeling. By far the weirdest I've experienced in a while. My daughter is an adult. Wow. How did that happen?
Mother's day was also unique in that, I was not the only mother in the house this year.
So many milestones.
The decision has been made to refinance the house just to lower our payments to make having two homes a little easier. Now I will be able to return to my home here a few times a year and see my daughter and grandson. It was breaking my heart to think of him growing up and not really knowing me. This is a small step in the direction of making sure that just doesn't happen. It will allow me an opportunity to develop a unique relationship with him. Hopefully, he'll be able to stay with me for a week or so a couple times a year and I'll be able to spoil him...hmmm...you know the saying...."What happens at Grandma's........". Love it!
That's it for now. I have many out of town guests coming to stay for the weekend, and I have the appraiser coming out tomorrow for the refi. Gotta get busy doing some house cleaning.
Here's a picture to hold you over to the next post.
The baby is growing so fast. He is already 6 weeks old!
I have been busy helping with him and putting things together for Sam's wedding this coming weekend.
The wedding will be small and informal, but there are still quite a few details to take care of.
Sam turned 18 last week. Now that, my friends, is a weird feeling. By far the weirdest I've experienced in a while. My daughter is an adult. Wow. How did that happen?
Mother's day was also unique in that, I was not the only mother in the house this year.
So many milestones.
The decision has been made to refinance the house just to lower our payments to make having two homes a little easier. Now I will be able to return to my home here a few times a year and see my daughter and grandson. It was breaking my heart to think of him growing up and not really knowing me. This is a small step in the direction of making sure that just doesn't happen. It will allow me an opportunity to develop a unique relationship with him. Hopefully, he'll be able to stay with me for a week or so a couple times a year and I'll be able to spoil him...hmmm...you know the saying...."What happens at Grandma's........". Love it!
That's it for now. I have many out of town guests coming to stay for the weekend, and I have the appraiser coming out tomorrow for the refi. Gotta get busy doing some house cleaning.
Here's a picture to hold you over to the next post.
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Aaahhhh, FINALLY!!!
I think he's a definite keeper!
Noah James made his debut April 6, 2009 at 10:37 pm, weighing in at a whopping 8 lbs. 3.5 oz. WOW!! I think he's an angel....for real.
Of course, this is proud grandma. Momma and baby are doing spectacular!!
Saturday, March 28, 2009
I post so infrequently anymore, Kansas may not be flat and boring, but my blog is really getting to be that way!
Sam is due on Tuesday, but it is looking more and more likely that she will go past that due date. She is so frustrated and tired of being pregnant. I know the feeling. Both my children arrived past their due dates. It's bad enough waiting until THAT day, but when THE DAY comes and goes.....it can get quite depressing. I keep reassuring her that the baby WILL come out. That women don't get pregnant and stay that way forever (even though it may seem like that now).
Needless to say, she's been, um...a tad bit cranky.
Her doctor has mentioned inducing her next Friday. (Excuse me, here. Did you say induce at not even 41 weeks? I think NOT!). So, I am going in on Monday with her to set that doctor straight. There is not a good reason so far (at least not that I'm aware of) that would mandate such madness. It's crazy what doctors do these days. Sam doesn't want induction either, so it's not just me that's unhappy with that idea.
Anyway, I've been making attempts to keep Sam's mind off of her pregnancy as much as possible. This consists of dragging her out shopping with me when I go, or to the dog park to walk the dog, etc. The other day, I got her a cross stitch patterned blanket to make for the baby. It's quite involved, and I figure it will keep her busy for...well....a few years, probably. If she's as slow as I am, anyway!
She's been to the library several times in the last week, looking for a book to take her mind off things. But, she just can't find one she likes. I've recommended a few but for some reason, she doesn't think I know what I'm talking about. (Go figure)
I just started reading the book, "Twilight", which I am enjoying. The girl who cuts my hair wants me to read the books so that she and I can talk about them when I get my hair done again! So I promised her that I would. I haven't seen the movie, and I won't. My experience hasn't been very good when it comes to watching movies made from stories I've read. I like the pictures my mind conjures up far better than someone else's interpretation.
Sam is due on Tuesday, but it is looking more and more likely that she will go past that due date. She is so frustrated and tired of being pregnant. I know the feeling. Both my children arrived past their due dates. It's bad enough waiting until THAT day, but when THE DAY comes and goes.....it can get quite depressing. I keep reassuring her that the baby WILL come out. That women don't get pregnant and stay that way forever (even though it may seem like that now).
Needless to say, she's been, um...a tad bit cranky.
Her doctor has mentioned inducing her next Friday. (Excuse me, here. Did you say induce at not even 41 weeks? I think NOT!). So, I am going in on Monday with her to set that doctor straight. There is not a good reason so far (at least not that I'm aware of) that would mandate such madness. It's crazy what doctors do these days. Sam doesn't want induction either, so it's not just me that's unhappy with that idea.
Anyway, I've been making attempts to keep Sam's mind off of her pregnancy as much as possible. This consists of dragging her out shopping with me when I go, or to the dog park to walk the dog, etc. The other day, I got her a cross stitch patterned blanket to make for the baby. It's quite involved, and I figure it will keep her busy for...well....a few years, probably. If she's as slow as I am, anyway!
She's been to the library several times in the last week, looking for a book to take her mind off things. But, she just can't find one she likes. I've recommended a few but for some reason, she doesn't think I know what I'm talking about. (Go figure)
I just started reading the book, "Twilight", which I am enjoying. The girl who cuts my hair wants me to read the books so that she and I can talk about them when I get my hair done again! So I promised her that I would. I haven't seen the movie, and I won't. My experience hasn't been very good when it comes to watching movies made from stories I've read. I like the pictures my mind conjures up far better than someone else's interpretation.
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